The kind of feeling you get in your bones...

I wanted to share part of my journal entry I put in my PNP. I liked what I had to say and I think it is important for others to realize that settling in life is not necessary.  If you feel like you are in the wrong job, relationship or location do something about it.  It is NEVER to late to change your life...well unless you are dead :( then that does in fact mean you're to late! Here is what I had to say to my PNP sisters... 

I know one thing is that I am on a journey to find the best Kathy! I understand from the outside looking in I have a pretty amazing life. I own a home, car, dog and have a great education.  I have great friends, loving family and a job that pays me more than I could ask.  I am in good health and most of the time I am happy… But on the inside I feel I am capable of so much more.  I feel I was born to do something really big, something amazing and something that makes people want to be better.  I know I shouldn't complain because I do have a really great life but I just don't feel like my life's purpose is being met. 

What makes me upset is that I have NO clue what that life's purpose is and I don't know what I should be doing I just know that this current life I am living is not the life I should be living.  That is very hard to say because it makes my eyes fill up with tears but it is time to get uncomfortable because being comfortable in life means that you are not doing things that scare you. If you are not doing things that scare you then you are NOT growing and learning. I need to look at fear and I need to fail a million and one times create new habits of doing things that are NOT so comfortable. 

I maybe a big dreamer but I just feel it down to my bones that there is something bigger out there for me.  I am asking God to send me signs to help me see what that big thing is he wants me to do.  It seriously makes me sick thinking about how bad I want this thing but have no direction on where to go… how confusing right?  

What I do know is this…. I had a great first two days back at work.  As I walked in the hallways today I smiled not because I was back to work but because I am happy to be able work with such amazing students and amazing teachers.  I know this year will be a great one because I am on a new journey; a journey to find my life's purpose! Not many people can say they ever go that far but I will NOT stop till it is fulfilled! Whatever that might be! 

It is simply amazing when you wake up in a world that you been sleeping in.  I can feel that I am changing every single day.  I know I am missing something in this life of mine but I can feel that I am so close to finding the answers.  Don't be that person that doesn't listen to the inner you! You may have everything; the perfect life on paper sort of speak...but if you are craving something inside you go after it! Life is about taking a risk, about learning and making mistakes.  Continue to learn and grow...never stop dreaming because life doesn't just stop when you're 32 :) Luckily for me life is just beginning!! I can't wait to discover whatever it is I am looking for!