FEAR

Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.

I use to think that having fear in my life was a sign of weakness but fear is not always bad thing.  Fear is natural and part of all our lives. I am certain I was fearful of falling the first time I ever walked, feared my first day of school and I know I was fearful the first time I ever drove my car without my Dad. I made it out of those scary moments successfully and more independent by doing so. 

I bet no one has ever told you to run towards the things that fear you the most. You probably was never told to move closer to it, to just be there, to become familiar with this fear.  Many people tell believe that you should distract myself, take some sort of pill, just figure it out but never keep fear within reaching distance.  My question is why not look fear in the eye with the confidences that you will overcome it?  

I have been that person that has ran so far away from fear that I have lost relationships, jobs and amazing opportunity in my life because I was to scared of the unknown.  I am finally starting to realize that fear will eventually fill you up so much that you will end up falling apart.  There will be no more places to hide....you will run out of options to escape.  The only option you have left is to stand in front of this fear.. After all everything you ever wanted is on the other side of this fear you hold within.

I truly believe that FEAR is a gift.  When you have fear in your life you have no other choice than to become stronger and to build yourself up with amazing courage.  To overcome fear we should challenge ourselves to explore new things and to NEVER run away from things that make us feel uncomfortable.  I am finally realize that courage will get me over any obstacle that stands in my way but it is up to me how I react to those obstacles/fears in my life. 

"F-e-a-r has two meanings... 

'Forget everything and run'

OR

'Face everything and rise'

The Choice is yours"

~Zig Ziglar

For those of you who have been running away from Fear; I challenge you to run towards it. Once you tell fear who is boss you will see amazing things happen in your life.  I know this because it is happening to me now.  I am starting to see the things that can happen in my life because I'm not allowing fear to run my life anymore. I will push pass this fear because I want what is on the other side of it....I don't know what is on the other side but I am certain it has to be amazing.

One last thing.. 

The phrase "do not be afraid" is written in the bible 365 times.  That's a daily reminder from God to live each day being fearless.

Mission I'mPOSSIBLE: Scared of the future..

Mission I'mPOSSIBLE: Scared of the future..: Many of you know I've been struggling with the question what should my future look like? I have been asking myself this question for ...

Scared of the future..

Many of you know I've been struggling with the question what should my future look like? I have been asking myself this question for what feels like the last 3-4 years.  Each year I get excited about my future and the new life I could possibility have BUT I do absolutely nothing to change. I have been wanting to sell my condo, leave Ohio and get into a new career path for years but my fear of failing has paralyzed me.

It upsets me when I think of all the time I have lost because of this fear that I hold deep within me.  I'm scared none of my plans for the future will work out and I'll be lonely with no real career for the rest of my life.  I studied my ass off in college to get to where I am today.... yet, I can't find joy or feel successful in my current place.  The real question I been trying to answer is....How do you walk away from something you worked so hard for?  I feel like I would be throwing away 9 years of college if I changed my career path now but those 9 years of college could certainly put me in a career I would flourish in. 

This year will be full of discovering what, where and who I should be.  I can promise you that this is the year I will be taking a leap of faith into a future that I deserve...taking control of my own life sort of speak.  I can't stop thinking about all the things I could do with my life, the places I could move and the people I will meet.  It's freaking exciting but completely scary at the same time. My hope is that while I try to find this new path, I also find a stronger person that will take the risk, run towards fear and will only listen to the voice within myself.

How do I find this new path? That is still a question I can't answer :( I plan on doing a lot of soul searching, trying things that scare the shit out of me and a lot of praying to the big man up stairs to lead me to the correct door.  I believe that doors have closed in my life to lead me to bigger and better things. I have that "will not quit" attitude, the drive to be successful and will work my ass off till I'm extremely happy.

Life sometimes sucks but those moments often lead you to better things.  If you hate your job, your boyfriend, your body, the state you live in, your house, the way you act...etc Do something about it! Don't settle in a life you hate.  Big dreams can come true once you take the steps towards making them a reality.  I know it can be SCARY but how exciting is it knowing that you have the power to change your crappy life to one you been wishing for.  It starts with you...It starts today!

Promise me that you will stop settling and start doing things that scare you.  The things that scare you make you stronger, wiser and who knows you may find a new life you been wishing for. My hope is that my journey will inspire others to listen to that voice within that has been whispering for a long time.  That voice is important because that voice is YOU.  Don't shut it out or shut it up.

What is one thing that you want to do but have been to scared to try it?

Awakening

Tonight at yoga the instructor read this poem to our class. It really spoke to me at where I am standing currently in life.... I believe my waiting is over and I will push forward to realize how beautiful this world can really be. 

“Waiting” by Leza Lowitz
You keep waiting for something to happen,
the thing that lifts you out of yourself,
catapults you into doing all the things you’ve put off
the great things you’re meant to do in your life,
but somehow never quite get to.
You keep waiting for the planets to shift
the new moon to bring news,
the universe to align, something to give.
Meanwhile, the piles of papers, the laundry, the dishes, the job—
it all stacks up while you keep hoping
for some miracle to blast down upon you,
scattering the piles to the winds.
Sometimes you lie in bed, terrified of your life.
Sometimes you laugh at the privilege of waking.
But all the while, life goes on it its messy way.
And then you turn forty. Or fifty. Or sixty…
and some part of you realizes you are not alone
and you find signs of this in the animal kingdom –
when a snake sheds its skin its eyes glaze over,
it slinks under a rock, not wanting to be touched,
and when caterpillar turns to butterfly
if the pupa is brushed, it will die—
and when the bird taps its beak hungrily against the egg
it’s because the thing is too small, too small,
and it needs to break out.
And midlife walks you into that wisdom
that this is what transformation looks like—
the mess of it, the tapping at the walls of your life,
the yearning and writhing and pushing,
until one day, one day
you emerge from the wreck
embracing both the immense dawn
and the dusk of the body,
glistening, beautiful
just as you are.

Mexico...Vacation 1

"A vacation is having nothing to do and having all day to do it." ~Robert Orbin

How do you end a crappy school year? You fly straight to Mexico the first two days of summer. This trip was planned for months as it was for my Brother Bobby's wedding.  I was so excited about traveling to a new country, as well as using my passport for the very first time.  I was excited about the trip but I was more excited to see my Brother finally marry his best friend and the love of his life. It was a gift to be able to watch a new chapter in their life begin. 

Is Mexico beautiful? Great question! I have to say I didn't get to see much of it because I was either in the pool, at the bar or in bed.  I never got in the ocean, never really explored but I had a fabulous time hanging out with friends I rarely get to see. 

I know you probably want to know did I exercise? I went running the second day I was there and I took a yoga class right on a pier. The yoga class was AMAZING! All I could see was the blue ocean and felt the awesome air on my tired body....I maybe got a total of 5 hours of sleep the first night. I tried to go for a run the day after my Brothers wedding.  I maybe made it .4 miles before I had to walk.  Luckily, I ran into my Dad who walked with me for 30 some minutes.  This probably was one of my favorite things about Mexico... I just adore my Dad! Spending time with him is something I never can get enough of.

The wedding was BEAUTIFUL! It rained 5 minutes before the wedding was going to start but it turned out to be a stunning day.  I cried of course when Mandie walked down the isle to meet Bobby.  I've been their number one fan forever! Who doesn't want their Brother to marry their best friend.  I get teary eyed thinking about how awesome it is to have both of theses guys in my life.  I normally am the third wheel in their relationship....thankfully they still love me.

Their really isn't much to report about Mexico.  I don't really remember most of it...so clearly I had a great time.  I did however come home with a freaking parasite...UGH. Everyone has been asking me would you go back even after you were so sick? HECK YES! I would go back tomorrow!

My tan will fade but the memories I have made will last a lifetime.

I bend so I don't BREAK

 "You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens." ~Mandy Hale

I have been MIA for a really long time but I haven't had anything to blog about.  I have had the time of my life this summer just letting go and being me!  Vacation was the escape I needed to forget about everything going on back home.  Vacation also allowed me to see that I need to start living NOW instead of just existing in a life I'm not truly happy living in.  I have Mexico, Tampa and Vegas to thank for opening up my heart to many new ideas and allowing me to see that my dreams can certainly come a reality.

I could get into the dirty details about why I feel so unhappy but I have decided to focus on the good things in my life instead of all the negative junk.  It takes a strong person to move forward when life is not going as planned...it takes a stronger person to stand up and start a brand new path.  Thankfully, the last few years I've been building up this inner layer of toughness, a will to never quit and the ability to work for what I want.  I will not give up, I will not settle...

The next 8 months I will be learning everything I can about yoga.  I'm all signed up for the yoga training program starting on Aug 22.  I am super nervous about the commitment, the money and if this is the right path to take.  BUT I have learned that if you stay in one place for to long you don't grow.  I need some kind of growth in my life so this is the perfect time for this program to begin.

I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my mental, physical and emotional health. I have chosen to pour my heart and soul with as many good things as possible.  If someone or something makes me smile and laugh..I'm going to want more of it.  I will start painting, learning photography, giving more and of course learn more about this yoga stuff.

My future depends on what I do in the present.  I will not break, I will continue to bend with the storm life gives me.  What I do know is that next year my life will not look the same as it does today.  I hope you will follow along in my journey of finding the path to my NEW happiness. I will be honest and raw about all my emotions.  My life has been one long roller coaster ride :( My ride seems a little broken but my will to get to the top is stronger than ever.  Failure is the thing that keeps me moving forward.... someday I'll look back at this time in my life with a smile.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.---Maya Angelou

21 day fix

If you follow me on facebook or Instagram you know that I been focused on the 21 day fix for the last few weeks.  I LOVED this program so much that I plan on following it for another 21 day and most likely continue it all summer long.  I normally eat a clean diet but I been a little generous with my serving sizes on a few things...Peanut butter, cheese.. etc.  This plan is all about measuring, food prepping and drinking a lot of H2O.. it also comes with workout videos.

Beginning weight: 154
Ending weight: 146

I still have 2 more pounds to drop to get to my goal summer weight.  I have no doubt that I will get there with the fix and probably will go beyond the 144 goal! I would LOVE it if I hit 140 but I don't want to focus on the number.  I want to really focus on how I feel, look and how I am sleeping. 

The 21 day fix has taught me that I need to get more veggies in.  I seriously hate veggies but my body; mostly my thyroid needs clean healthy veggies to work properly. The only thing I haven't loved in this program is how much money I am spending at the grocery.  I will never understand why healthy foods are so freaking expensive.  I keep telling myself that I am investing in my future and my overall health. I plan on hitting up the farmers market this summer for cheaper veggies!

Who would benefit from the fix?

Easy.. EVERYONE! This is a good program to get you back on track or to start you on the right track! I think this is good for someone that is starting out or for someone that is a lifelong health nut like me.   Sometimes we fail to remember the basics which is why I needed the program.  The workouts are GREAT for a beginner or someone who doesn't workout out daily. 

The picture on the right is an example of what my fridge looks like after grocery shopping.  Filled with good healthy, bright, colorful foods... my body can't get enough of it!

What more info? Contact me at katmorgan2004@yahoo.com or click here to order the Fix.

How often do you measure your foods? Do you sprinkle a little extra cheese on your salad like me? :)