Wordless Wednesday

Dream Crushers...

What is your dream? Will you achieve this dream in your lifetime? I am more than certain you desire it and you hope to achieve it…but will you actually do what it takes to get there?  This is the question I continue to ask myself every single day… is my dreams worth the obstacles and frustration?? The answer is absolutely YES!

“Dreams come a size too big so that we can grow into them.” –Josie Bisset

Wow! What a powerful statement! Think about it! Is this true with the dreams that you continue to think about? Do you think they are too big to accomplish?

So what happens to those people who have lost complete slight of their dreams or they never truly connect with a dream.  I sort of feel like this is where I currently am :( I know I have big dreams but I don’t know right now what they exactly are or where they take place.  It is very confusing to want something so badly but have NO clue what that something is.  Why does this happen??? How can I really work towards my big dream is if I can’t see it or “Dream it”. 

This is what I been discovering…..My dreams have literally been knocked out of my head since the day I was born.  How can that be when I have supportive parents and a super awesome family? It is simple, for most of my life I been living in their reality.  My family is full of dream crushers and idea killers….sorry guys but it is true. (This doesn't mean I don't love you by talking about it.)

It breaks my heart to say it out loud but sometimes the truth hurts.  When I talk about my dreams it is normally followed with ‘sure Kathy now it's time to come back to reality and not live in la la land.” “Sure I will believe it when I see it.” “You don’t have that kind of money for that.” “Don’t you think you are to old to accomplish those things.” “Seriously you are not strong enough for that.” “It’s not possible.”  "That is a crazy idea." "You don't have to move to find your dreams." "Stop acting like a teenager." HOLY COW just saying those things brings tears to my eyes :( but those are things I continue to hear out of the people that love me the most.

My family and friends don’t want to see me get hurt or do something that I will regret.  It feels nice having someone so concerned about me that they would do everything in the world to protect me.  But crushing my dreams is like crushing my soul and it is defiantly not protecting me...it only hurts me.  

I have started to realize that I have had a lot of my dreams crushed but the older I get the more possible those dreams seem and the more my dreams start to come alive! 

Dream Crushed but I accomplished:

1. Teachers told me I would never amount to anything and that I would never make it in college... 

Huh! I been to 4 different colleges and have a list of qualifications :) Seems very odd to me that I made it.  

2. You will never run a marathon..

Thank you very much I have ran 3 and will continue to prove you fools wrong! 

3. You can't be responsible for a dog that big...

Louie and I are perfectly happy... he is not dead yet. 

4. This one is a new one..  Ironman? Keep dreaming sister. 

I will thanks...and you will be the first one I call when I accomplish this goal!!! 

5. Reality is sticking with a job that you have now because you make good money and you are settled..

Um.. true but it is not my reality.  Why keep living a lie?? When I was born to do something different something more amazing? 

I could continue on with the list but I don’t want to bore you.  The point is this I am now listening to my heart and paying attention to the things I dream most about.  I am done listening to people who want to crush my ideas.  My ideas might be crazy but they're my dreams NOT theirs; so they don’t get to decide if it's worth following or fighting for…that is MY JOB.

If you have a dream…follow it! Don’t listen to the people who think your ideas are crazy because as far as I am concerned it is never crazy to follow your heart.  Everything in this world is possible if you work for it.  It may take time for you to even realize what your dreams are or how to even follow them........Just listen and be awake to the idea that the universe is leading you in the right direction!

 

PLEASE NEVER crush someone else’s dreams because you could be that one person that gives them the courage to really go for it! :) 

DREAM Big PEOPLE!!!!!  

We all start at the same place...

When people see how active and healthy I am...I know they think gosh Kathy can do it all.  Let me be frank it has not always been this way. In fact a few years ago moving in general sucked and all I looked forward to was my peanut butter, chocolate covered, cherry on top large ass sundae.  I hated my life, I hated that I allowed myself to gain so much weight and mostly I hated the people that were out living life while I sat at home being mad at the world.  The only thing that made me happy was food, being extremely drunk and sleeping.  I was depressed and to the point that death sounded pretty awesome.....

But then one day I realized that I could either be pissed at every single healthy person in the world or I could get busy getting healthy myself.  I knew that I had some serious mountains to climb to get a life I dreamed of but I knew once I made it to the top I would feel simply amazing.  There were so many obstacles in my journey :( I would lose weight, gain weight, cry, get hammered, lose weight again...cry more, get wasted.  You get the picture it sucked but it was so much better than that girl who use to think death sounded awesome. 

I can't believe that I had to hit rock bottom to even see that climbing the mountain was possible.  I had to lift a lot of heavy ass stones to even reach my half way point.  There were many times I fell flat on my face and a lot of terrible moments that I don't even want to talk about ... I use to think this journey was stupid, life was stupid and my life wasn't worth it. I didn't think I was worth it but that has changed!!!!! I know I am worth it because I am ENOUGH and the world wouldn't be the same without Kathy Morgan in it :)

Fact is we all start at the same place...we all think life sucks.  We all envy and hate the people who get it...we don't like reaching out because that means we are weak.  We all look at the mountain with the mindset I will never make it....

But you are NOT weak and YOU will make it! Stop thinking that your mountain unreachable! Every single thing in life is possible if you believe in the person you want to be.  Take all that negative crap out of your mind and focus on the stuff that you want!!!! Reach out to others who have it.. Ask questions!  The person that ask someone for help is not a WEAK person at all..I believe that person is STRONG and ready to start lifting their rocks to get to the top of their mountain!

Just remember everyone's journey is different! Not every mountain is the same but we all start at the same place.  We all start at the bottom wishing that we could quickly get to the top.  Please never be that person that thinks death is so much more cooler than living...because living a life you want is better than being in a box.

Be Amazing :)

Emotional and Physically HARD 12 miler today....

There are days I question why I love running...Today was certainly one of those days.  I decided to run on the treadmill since the weather was HOT and storms were moving into Cbus.  I felt like I had a really good attitude going into this run...ATTITUDE is everything when you run long distance.

Then came mile 4...I cried because the movie I watched had a very strong statement in it.  "You are never to old to change your life." It was like the universe wanted me to hear that statement....well I broke down.  I cried for a good 3 minutes before I could pull myself together.  Thank you Benjamin Button for making me an emotional wreck!! But Brad Pitt I love every single piece of your body :)

Mile 5..PAIN! I felt it and it was real pain.  So I stopped....cried yet again because I said this is it.  If I can't run 5 miles I certainly would not be ready for my marathon in a few weeks.  CRUSHED I walked downstairs to jump on a bike.  Luckily I have a great relationship with my trainer!! So I txted him in tears telling him I had to stop.  He told me to pull off the tape and try it again!!! I sat on the bike for 20 minutes trying to decided if I was strong enough to continue. <----I hate negative talk!!  So I sat there on the bike with tears saying.. I am ENOUGH, I am AMAZING, It is POSSIBLE and I will succeed.  I continued to say that till I believed it!!!

Back on the treadmill I go.... TOUGH! I knew I had 7 long miles to go.  I felt like every piece of my body was in pain.  I felt pain in my toes, my back and mostly my heart.  I was sad and upset at myself...I asked myself a million times "What the HELL are you doing? Running is stupid, this is stupid...why are you still running?" Seriously..I question myself why I liked running and why I continued to run when I am not 100% injury free yet.....But then Mile 8 came!!!

Mile 8... I finally was able to let go of all the negative talk in my head.  I finally was able to get to the place that makes me love running the most! FREEDOM and QUIETNESS!!!! It was like all that stuff that had been build up in my mind finally stopped fighting with me.  I ran but I didn't run with a single thing on my mind...I JUST RAN!

Mile 9... I finally started to look around outside (we have windows everywhere in my gym).  I started to notice the leaves, the beautiful sky and then I saw three American Flags flying in the wind.  This is when I cried again.  It was like those three flags represent my three miles I had left. I needed to see them because it gave me the drive to push forward and RUN harder. 

I ran because I am free!! Those flags were my freedom....my running allows me to really feel what it is like to be FREE from the negative world! Funny thing is when I finished my IPod played Garth Brooks "We Shall Be Free"

So that run SUCKED! I hated it but I finished with the biggest smile on my face.  It feels great to beat the demons inside my head and listen to everything else around me that is so positive!!! Thanks to everyone that cheered me on!!!!!!!! Without that I probably would have stopped!!! You gave me the drive to move forward and run harder!!!

The things that you need to know about me.. A-Z

My friend Betsy did this on her Blog...so I felt the need to copy her because she is simply AWESOME! :) Hope you enjoy my lovely answers!

A. Attached or Single

I am a lifer when it comes to the single lifestyle! I believe I have been single for 2.5 years now...which I am completely okay with! I rather live a life I love then be in a relationship I hate! :) 

B. Best Friend.
Tough One! I have a ton of best friends
1. Jessica DeLong because she loves dogs and camping! We are NOTHING alike but that what makes us work! Plus....WE love making wine together :) Who wouldn't want a best friend that likes wine making. 
2. Louie.. YES my dog! He is always here for me no matter how terrible or happy I feel.  I just love him. 
3. Corinne Crabtree :) Yes my TRAINER!! We are like sisters FOR REAL! We love working out hard, eating healthy, racing, vacationing and of course we love to party hard! She has been able to push me more than anymore I know. 

Kelly, Anne, Jamie, Both Lindsays (yes two)... my Dad, my mom, my brothers (even Bob) and my sisters!!! 

C. Cake or Pie..
Neither! I hate Cake and I can't stand Pie crust...but I do love icing :) So I like cake for that reason alone. 

D. Day of Choice
Saturday.. Because it is my long run day and because I don't have to work :) 

E. Essential Items
Running Shoes (stole this from Betsy), my phone and water... can't live without my gallon!

F. Favorite Color
Blue of course but pink is a close second!

G. Gummy bears or worms?
 Fish! I don't like worms or bears :) 

H. Home town?
The Pak ... Wapakoneta, Ohio Home of Neil Armstrong and every fast food restaurant you could want!

I. Favorite Indulgence?
Pancakes :) 


J. January or July?
July... I hate winter! That is why I am planning on moving somewhere WARM! No more snow after this year!

K. Kids?
I have a furry one.. Lewis Blue Morgan

L. Life isn’t complete without?
Faith, wine and believing that you are simply amazing in everything you do! :) 

M. Marriage date?
um weird... I never been married! 

N. Number of brothers/sisters?
Julie, Patty, Joey and Bobby... YEP, I am the baby and I LOVE it :)

O. Oranges or Apples?
Apples warmed up! 

P. Phobias?
Snakes and swimming in water with Fish. 

Q. Quotes?
I love to many... but my new personal one that I made up is...
I am enough, I am simply amazing, it is possible and I will succeed! 

R. Reasons to smile?
Because it is contagious....and because I love to be happy :)

S. Season of choice?
Summer for sure! I LOVE being Hot and I love the Sun!!!

T. Tag 5 People.
 This isn't facebook

U. Unknown fact about me?
 I was born on Friday the 13th...so I don't believe superstitious things! Why? Because why would someone as awesome as me be born on a date that is so terrible??

V. Vegetable?
I don't care for vegetables but I eat them because I have to! My go to veggies is carrots and corn. 

W. Worst habit?
Not chasing my dreams because people don't agree with them... But that is changing! I don't care about people who crush my dreams anymore! I only have room for positive people in my life now! 

X. Xray or Ultrasound?
I have an ultrasound on my foot every few days...so I will go with that :) 

Y. Your favorite food?
Pizza, Pancakes, Peanut Butter and my Brothers Chicken... Oh and of course FRIES :) 

Z. Zodiac sign?
Aquarius

Change is coming..

I have always had the CAN DO attitude in life! I can thank my parents for that :) My parents never tried to tell me my dreams were silly...they always supported me and still support me!! I can still hear my Dad telling me "You can do anything Kathy but you have to believe in God, work hard and have a good college education." My Dad is always right :) or should I say I think he is!

Dreaming big is something I continue to do as an adult.  I have HUGE dreams ... for many women their dreams involve a big house with a white fence, 2 kids and the perfect husband to love.  My dreams don't involve a husband, family or even house at all.... don't get me wrong I would LOVE to have that be my dream some day but right now I can't worry about those things.  My Dad stressed to me when I was younger... fall in love with your job first and everything else will fall in place.  So I need to fall in love with my life again before I allow my life to open up to others.

So what does this mean? Why am I telling you all this? I have something BIG I am working on currently that involve a new career path, possible move and a new way of living.  I am tired of just existing in this life of mine ... I want to LIVE again! I can't tell my secret yet because my DREAM is not yet complete.  Once I have things figured out you will be the first to know!!!!!

Know this...if you are unhappy with something in your life you have to do something about it.  I have been sitting around for 6 years wishing for something different.  I didn't make the step to change my life because I was scared, hurt and didn't believe I was worth it.  I know have realized that I have a lot of potential, tons of education and a passion that is burning deep inside me to do something simply amazing.  It would be a shame to continue to just sit and wait for something to happen....I am ready to spread my wings and fly into a whole new life!!!!   

Keep following me in this new journey of mine :) One thing I will keep telling myself during this school year is... I AM ENOUGH!

I have this necklace ... it says a lot! If you want this necklace please let me know I can get you in contact with my friend!

Wordless Wednesday.. Something I am looking for

PNP Camp in Nashville

I just got back from PNP camp!! What is PNP camp you ask? It is a camp where we dig deep into the core of our issues, workout hard and get inspired by so many amazing women.  There were ladies there from all over the country and even Canada there! 

Most of the PNP and HHH ladies together

So what did I learn? This is kind of a hard thing to answer! Most comes out of camp with a new drive and motivation to continue their fitness goals...for me I have that drive in me already so camp meant something complete different for me.  I defiantly learned that I have come so far in this health and fitness game.  I learned that I need to stop worrying so much about my future and just live in the moment of NOW.  I learned that my past is just that... MY PAST and I need to stop letting it run my life.  I learned that staying in a job that makes me completely unhappy is NOT healthy and it is time to do something about it. :)

My roommates at camp from all over the country

I was surprised how many ladies came up to me to tell me that I inspire them....but the funny thing is this....those women are the reason I do what I do today because they are the heart of my inspiration. I am happy that I inspire others in this game of fitness and health because that is one of my biggest passions in life.  I do believe that I was put on this earth to spread the love of healthy lifestyle and to have fun doing it.  If you can't tell from the picture below I don't take anything to seriously!

Paula and I after a hard workout! Paula is 55 but she surely don't look like it! I hope to god when I am 55 I look as great as her and can still party like this rock star!!!

Corinne (AKA one of my best friends) had a lot to say about me at camp that I was so surprised.  She says I have my shit together and that I am confident in my own skin.  She knows that I kick my ass but can enjoy a pizza and beer without feeling guilty.  I loved hearing her say how good I was doing because there are days I feel like I am so far behind.  All I know is this... I do LOVE myself and I don't care how others look at me anymore!!!!

Corinne and I have so much in common but the best times I have with her is when we can just sit and laugh together!

I will get more into the details in camp later this week but I just wanted to do a quick write up.  If you ever have a chance to go to a fitness or a motivational camp DO IT!! The best thing you can do for yourself is take the time to LOVE you and find something to keep you going forward.  Camp was so much fun!! I think I burned 2000 calories in just laughing alone! I left with tears because these ladies make me who I am today but I left with a smile in my heart knowing that I am loved by so many.  :)