44 Days away till I completely go Goofy, crazy and even a little insane. The more I think about this crazy adventure I set out to do....the more convinced I have indeed lost my mind! The training for this race is HARD and has been hard since the Columbus Marathon....The weather is colder and I am running all my long runs alone.
My mind plays tricks on me when I am not running with someone else. Probably because the only person you can talk to for 3 hours is in fact yourself. I normally am really good at not listening to negative chatter in my head but during my last couple long runs I have struggled to silent the voices. When you are alone for 16 miles you have a lot of time to think....I think about EVERYTHING. I think about my journey, my weight, my family, my friends, my future, my job, money, men, dogs, food (I think about food a lot) the list goes on and on.
I have came up with ways to become rich, solve world piece and how to change my life for the better. This running thing is what helps me solve my problems and to really look deep into why I do the things I do. Running is a free Therapy Session with myself.....I have solved a lot of problems by just lacing up my shoes.
I do not like when the negative talk starts creeping into my runs. When that happens I start thinking about all the stress, sadness and pain that I been hiding. It comes pouring out of my sweat and eventually comes out in tears. I cry a lot when I am out on the open road alone because I am able to release all the things I been covering up. When you try to be positive all the time, the negative has to come out somehow....it normally for me is my super long runs 13+ and at times during long Yoga sessions.
No matter how much I hate those moments when I do listen to the negative chatter and the tears do fall....I ALWAYS feel so much better afterwards. I don’t know what it is about being outside pounding the pavement, but it releases the most incredible rush of endorphins that provides me with an energy boost and a mood lift simultaneously!
So I will continue the journey.....44 more long days to go. I have two 20 milers coming up in the next week or so. I know those runs will be hard for me but I look forward to them so I can allow myself to get away from life for a few hours.
Sometimes its good to remind ourselves of what we LOVE about our life and to know that for those not-so-good times….well, they’ll eventually pass. If not.... I will keep running till those moments go away.
And for right now – I’m plowing ahead full force. It’s the only way I know how too.
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